Co-Active Coaching
"Coaching is about discovery, awareness and choice. It is a way of empowering people to find their own answers, encouraging and supporting them to on the path as they continue to make important choices." Excerpt from the book Co-active Coaching by Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey House, Henry Kimsey House, Phillip Sandal.
The above authors were the founders of Co-active Coaching and have been developing the skill sets and training coaches since the late 1980's. The Coaches Training Institute was set up in 1992 and is now one of the largest training institutes in the world delivering courses in North America, Europe, Middle East and Asia.
Four Cornerstones
Coaching encompasses four cornerstones which are the foundations of Co-active Coaching:
"People are naturally creative, resourceful and whole". This means that the Coach makes an assumption that the answers are within the person already, not that the answers have to come from someone else. Nothing is wrong or broken in the person, all that they need, they have already. People do not need to be "fixed" however a Coach can help the person find their own strengths, limits and what they truly want. A quote from the Book of Runes is "once the decision is made the doing is easy". Just by identifying what a person wants can shift them into action.
"Dance in this moment". This is about the Coach responding to the persons agenda. During the coaching the Coach will be listening carefully for shifting themes and the flow of the coaching conversation and adjusting as to when and what to focus on. Dancing in this moment is about accepting whatever appears without judgement or rigidity.
"Focus on the whole person". Coaching conversations are intensely focussed as the coach will be listening at a very deep level for nuances and signs for that which is important. Imagine being in an energy bubble that the Coach and the person inhabit during the coaching, where there is deep concentration on whatever topic is being worked on.
"Evoke Transformation". The Coach wants the person to achieve their highest potential and in that change, it is natural that a transformation will occur. The person will see where change needs to occur and the coach will assist in the setting of goals and challenges to achieve the change.
The Coach
A Co-active Coach is trained to listen, not just to the words but for the appearance of the person's vision, values, purpose and also for resistance, fear, backtracking, self depreciation. Listening is done at several levels simultaneously.
A Co-active Coach is trained to be curious, this means asking questions that will lead to the persons own process of self discovery. Curiosity can be serious, playful or sometimes downright wacky but are adjusted to help the person search deep inside and recognize areas in their lives that may be holding them back or progressing. Curiosity comes in the form of powerful questions that guide a coaching session and allow the flow while "keeping the agenda" and "dancing in the moment".
A Co-active Coach is trained to recognize intuition and to verbalise it at the right moment. Intuition is the "gut feel" that you have when you just know something but you don't usually verbalise it. By allowing the Coach to verbalise intuition, often recognition of something can be acknowledged or new ideas can be sparked. Intuition has been described as the synthesis of impressions and information that we cannot analyze consciously, which as part of "listening" is invaluable.
A Co-active Coach is trained to motivate the person "forward" in life and "deepen" self knowledge and learning. Each coaching session has this mission in mind so that by the end, the person either knows something about themselves that they did not recognize before or has identified some goals that will shift them from their current position. While goal setting is a useful way of shifting forward, unless the goals resonate with the person and in some way excite, the motivation to complete them will diminish. This is why any goals should come from the person's own essence and comply with their values. Learning self knowledge of values is a pre-requisite to setting goals.
A Co-active Coach is trained to self manage. This means that the Coach must not stand in the way of the person by having personal opinions, preferences, pride, ego OR solutions. It is tempting for a Coach if they see an obvious solution to offer it up like a cat with a freshly caught mouse, however the Coaches solution will probably not be the one the person would have come up with. By keeping to the Coaching process, the person finds his own way forward uninfluenced by the Coach.
The Relationship
The relationship between the Coach and the person needs to be based on one of trust. It is true that trust is something that is built up slowly over time but there are some ways in which trust can be fast tracked from the beginning.
Confidentiality: Confidentiality can be agreed between the Coach and person. If required it can be a formal agreement signed by both parties. The person must feel free to express himself fully and therefore confidentiality must be assured. The person must feel confident that the Coach is professional and has complete integrity with regards to information received.
Environment: The person must feel that the coaching environment is one where they can feel comfortable speaking their truth. The Coach will generally let the person choose the place in which they would like to be coached, this could be a location i.e. at home or a neutral place like a coffee shop; or medium i.e. face to face, over the telephone or even by email. Some coaching methods can involve physical movement so a place that is not overlooked by friends, family, work mates or the public may be preferred.
Truth: The person must feel that the truth always prevails, sometimes the truth can bite but unless it is spoken the reality of the situation cannot be fully worked through. The truth is non judgmental, merely an observation of reality, it neither condemns or condones. The person must be able to count on straightforward and honest transactions with a Coach. In this way, the perosn learns to see the ultimate reality instead of what they might have been blinkered to before.
Openness: There is no such thing a failure in coaching, "there is no such thing as wrong" is a basic tenet. The coaching environment is a place where all emotions can be vented without limitation. It is an environment where fantasies can be verbalized and creativeness explored. This is necessary in coaching in order to find the person's fullest range of possibilities from which they can choose their own process for development.
Why Change?
There is a tendency in most people to stick within their comfort zone, old habits, beliefs and relating to others. Even during coaching when new goals have been achieved and change is ongoing, there may still be a pull back to the old ways. Everyone lives within a system of their own making which may contribute to a feeling of resistance. The Coach is there to help facilitate the change, encourage the completion of actions and also to counter self doubts that the person might be encountering.
To be coached the person needs to have some commitment to change, a willingness to explore the unknown, to leave the comfort zone and experience fulfilment and balance in accordance to their truest self.
Co-active coaches are committed to help the person achieve their goals through a willingness to challenge, incite, motivate, encourage and insist that the person take charge. Through the Coaches dedication and with the person's commitment a true Co-Active relationship is achieved.
The experience of being coached can be serious, joyful, upsetting, soothing, exciting, thrilling, exhilarating, frightening, it is never dull and will truly change your life for good.
JackieAllinson 